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House of memory, 2023-24
In the series House of Memory, I focus on the impermanence of memories and how they are influenced by longing and personal experiences.
Memories may not disappear entirely; instead, they seem to evolve over time. Details fade, emotions change, and they are reshaped by new experiences. The act of remembering itself can alter the original memory. Memories transform, reappear in different forms, or become fragmented, yet they remain part of one’s ever-evolving perception of the past.
I move through different types of media—such as drawing, painting, text, photography, and video—and use them as various vehicles for translation
Through these diverse media, fragments of my memories intertwine, gradually being rediscovered and transformed into new, personal images.
I need blacks
blank moments
traces
an absence of presence
i want to slow down time
to see the spaces in between
and construct my own reality.
oil pastel on paper, 30 x 42 cm
color pencil, water color, oil pastel on paper
21 x 15 cm
oil pastel and colored pencil on paper, 15 x 21 cm
oil pastel on paper, 21 x 15 cm
Figure of an early morning
Every time I look through a window,
I notice a boundary, as well as an opening
A new horizon opens up that lets in light
but also a sense of impermanence.
It is a structure
within which the subject recognizes itself,
or where it gazes longingly outward?
figure of an early morning
oil pastels on paper 56 x 90 cm
early spring, oil pastels on paper
57 x 88 cm
late winter, oil pastel on paper, 57 x 88 cm
oil pastel on paper, 21 x 15 cm
Travelling memory
There is no direct road between these different places
Just a rambling network of country lanes
that seem to make no difference which way I go
as long as it is generally in the right direction.
And so through repeating
I keep crossing and recrossing alternative roads
passing objects of places
that look familiar
but at the same time are new.
Yet I have a few routes I prefer
They intuitively feel more direct to what I want to see
Every combination, color, or form
combines differently with the next
bringing me closer to places I haven’t been yet.
oil pastel on paper, 30 x 42 cm
oil pastel on paper, 30 x 42 cm
oil pastel on paper, 30 x 42 cm
Poetics of memory
Family memory portraits, 2021-22
This project provides a different angle to my research on the impermanence of memory.
I began this project after going through some family pictures. While examining these pictures, I discovered that some family members look very different in contemporary reality than in my memories, as if these memories are 'frozen' in time.
In my mental image of my mother, she has chestnut brown hair, as she did during my teenage years, while her actual hair color at that time was white. This highlights the tensions between the static nature of certain memories and the dynamic, constantly changing reality of others. In this case, the fixation of memories in my mind is not subject to the development we observe in daily life, which leads me to wonder how and why some memories remain so fixed, even as the people and situations around us continue to change.
The image above captures a memory
from the day I saw a peculiar bird fly into my garden
The moment felt truly magical
as it was a bird I'd never
seen before
and it struck me as unusual to encounter one in the heart of Amsterdam
Later that evening
something strange happened
I was watching a film
— though I can't quite recall its title
I believe it was by Fassbinder
At one point
during a casual family scene
there it was again:
the same bird
subtly appearing in the background
Fountainhead, Ayn Rand
oil paint on paper 85 x 130 cm
oil paint on canvas 130 x 210 cm
